Torn in between the two...

"What I do is based on powers we all have inside us; the ability to endure; the ability to love, to carry on, to make the best of what we have - and you don't have to be a 'Superman' to do it."
-- Christopher Reeve.

Yes I know....
Therapy is supposed to be consistent to be effective;my shrink keeps saying that....
The writing is supposed to help express my other feelings and help deal with my childhood rejection or something of the sort...

More like chic rejection...

I'm so sorry this is coming in late.
I've been on the road again and if you thinking its about His royal “pain-in-the-butt”......your right!
A friend's brother's girlfriend referred me to a 'Holy' man of some sorts. As you've probably guessed it was worst than my last attempt...

I really liked the part where I made you throw up on everyone ,do the 360 thing with your head and the deep dark voice effect was the killer! All in all,a performance worthy of an Academy and an Oscar; totally awesome dude!!!!
.....lets do it again sometime....soon!!!

I presume you have come to some conclusions since my last post. I'm also sure one of them is a question of my sanity. My last post; an unbelievable,impossible and downright ridiculous story, right?
You've also blamed the usual suspects;. TV violence, just way too much TV, my parents, drugs, alcohol ,the drugs and alcohol combo,Stephen King, the Devil, a devil, my neighbourhood, a devil in my neighbourhood,aliens,aliens possessed with devils in my neighbourhood that watch too much TV and do drugs.....

Or maybe your the spawn of Stephen King and an alien that was high on drugs and alcohol that got possessed by a devil while watching too much TV....
Yeah!!! I don't get I either.

But in my neck of the woods, it was just another day in The Rift.
Whatever....the point has been made;I have an imaginary friend(he hates it when I call him that) or something of the sort....any questions?

...This is usually the point where they excuse themselves and walk away very quickly mate!!!
Why?!They are afraid you'll carry them off to your cabin in the woods,psycho!

Seriously, questions would be much appreciated.
I figure you might all have some luck with figuring out why I have to live with an extra person in my head. I already have enough problems of my own without having a John Cleese/Captain Jack Sparrow/Rowan Atkinson/Ace Ventura/Keith Olberman/Guru Pitka following me around.

Hello?! You forgot to mention the Ranting Swede....
Stop sending across the wrong message; we're not supposed to come across as insane!
Thanks to your little argument with me at the restaurant,eating out has become a covert operation;you don't argue out loud with yourself in public places mate!!!
We just got here and we don't want to get thrown out again now;do we mate?

As I said earlier,the words in italics are his. I've taken to writing them ever since I woke up to find all my journal entries and some of my best work, mysteriously shredded. He still denies being responsible and I'm sure your wondering how my 'imaginary friend' ,who lives in my head, could possibly be responsible. Lets just say after my visit to several Mediums, Spiritualists, a few Native doctors and one very puzzled pentecostal Pastor, I have no doubts as to who messed with my files. But we've finally come to an understanding and its only fair we both tell our sides of our story.

Just for the record, about the files;It wasn't me people!
Are you going to believe yours truly or some guy with personality issues....your run off the mill nut job.
Quit blaming me for all your mistakes schmuck; I ain't the Devil.
I personally believe it was your ex though.
After all the...'creative stuff ' we did to/with her and all YOU said afterwards she had every right to do anything she wanted to.
Whatever mate; that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

My only doubts lie with the fact that he simply is an imaginary friend; but I'm not going to talk about any of that today. After giving it much thought,it would be nice to know more about the reason for my name , right? Besides I'd jump at any opportunity to piss 'you-know-who' off anyway;he hates it when he isn't in the spotlight.

The healer...
In not so many words a manic-depressive recluse. Obviously delusional with personality issues and immense psychological damage, most likely the product of an abused childhood or a very traumatized adulthood; all that 'chic-rejection' finally got to you mate.
Who could have guessed blue balls could lead to delusional paranoia; go figure....

Ignore him...
I am The Healer.
At least I used to believe that I was till hurricane 'Ace' rushed into my world destroying everything in his path. How does a hurricane do anyone any good? It just comes in and wrecks stuff,mucks up whatever else is left with smelly water and gives reporters something to talk about for a few days...

BREAKING NEWS!!!
Man commits suicide.......Smashes head with computer........just in; claimed he was trying to get someone out of his head........locals claim he was frequently seen alone engaged in heated arguments with himself..........local psychologist says he was a seriously troubled patient and his delusions had gotten worse in recent weeks.......
Come to think of it if ,you should work on getting your self killed.
Maybe, just maybe I could finally get a shot at some air time and be in charge a little more for a change.
We really should think about this;lots of possibility with this and we're not getting any more sane!

My thoughts have suddenly become like an abnormally twisted puzzle wrapped in an equally twisted ball of twine by a 5 year old high on steroids,coke and Freakazoid reruns... I think.
Being constantly second guessed by someone who believes aliens are the brains behind the Nigerian film industry, its a constant struggle to stay in touch with the real world. I'm doing it again;talking about him when I don't want to. What was I talking about again? Yes; me...

Us....

...and my name.

Hey mate,if anything I actually made your life better.
The only reason why you talk so much about me is because you need me mate....YOU NEED ME!!!

So for starters,my real name is...

Shmuckolopogus!!!

....Shmuckolopogus? No my name is.....

Namby Pamby!!!

Namby Pamby?! Wait a sec, I actually meant to say,my real name is...

Junk yard fodder!!!

....Cut it out Ace!!!
Stop messing with my fingers.....stop......I.....no!....am....Ace!...a villainous sack of goat slime!!!!!!!
Stop acting like a child!
Move over or i'll beat you into middle of next week...

....and i'll kick ur ass on Thursday morning...

Argh!!!! That's it!!!
I'm done.....you want to complete the post?
Do it your self and then we can fight afterwards!!!
Sorry people,he's somehow found a way to take over some times and my head is shaped like a pogo stick....
ACE!!!
Cut it out!!!

I'm seriously hoping he's pissed enough to try another priest or something.
I can feel my Award winning side kicking in!!!
Lets go there!!!